Mentoring

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​Mentoring is a way to build a meaningful relationship with a vulnerable person who lacks a positive role model in their life. It is an enriching experience for both Mentors and Mentees. Mentoring comes naturally to many of us.

Mentoring can make a big difference in a person’s life. Through the mentoring relationship, a mentee develops the self-esteem and confidence so essential for personal growth, development, and resiliency. Mentoring enables a person to face social, emotional and learning challenges. In a culture that promotes rampant consumerism and instant gratification vulnerable persons feel bereft at their lack of means, social skills, basic skills and enabling relations with others. Persons who would benefit from being matched with a mentor are those who:

• lack nurture and unconditional love;
• suffer from low-self-esteem (believe that they are good for nothing, unintelligent and unskilled);
• harbour anger at a society that repeatedly fails them and adopt self-destructive tendencies (self-harm; drug taking; sexual liaisons from a very young age);
• develop a self-fulfilling prophecy about being unworthy of love and respect.

Volunteer Mentors can provide such persons with:

• a ‘special’ supportive, loving-kind friendship,
• unconditional acceptance,
• respect and love,
• guidance,
• coaching for skills acquisition,
• help with putting things into perspective ,
• a sounding board regarding making right decisions in life.

Mentors are persons Mentees can definitely rely on for support. They are there when their Mentees needs them to turn to when they:

• needs friendship and companionship;
• has questions to discuss and find answers to;
• needs direction;
• is experiencing personal troubles;
• needs to acquire skills that a mentees amply have.

As a Volunteer Mentor, one has the opportunity to:

• Provide a vulnerable person with the example they need to take the right path in life;
• Pass on important life lessons,
• Teach the Mentee the value of respect, truthfulness and responsibility,
• Teach the Mentee the importance of maintaining boundaries,
• Share loving-kindness and concern.

Volunteer Mentoring provides an important opportunity to reach out and touch an individual’s life.

Activities that Mentors and their Mentees can enjoy together include the following:

• Cooking;
• Outing to spaces & places the Mentee has never visited;
• Hiking,
• Talking,
• Dress-making,
• Seeing a film together & discussing it,
• Going out for a snack,
• Practicing English conversation.
• Going out to a Charity shop to hunt for a bargain dress or outfit.

Testimonials

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Volunteer Mentoring

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Louisa:

“As a volunteer mentor, I am always learning new things about my young mentee such as what activities she enjoys doing. I try to pick up on these as much as possible so she can start turning her likes into hobbies. I discovered that she enjoys sports activities, dancing and drama so I found out what is being offered locally and registered her within a programme. I know she appreciates what we do and I really enjoy our time together knowing that I can bring some sunshine into someone’s life that would not otherwise be possible without the mentoring service. I meet my Mentee every Saturday.”

What Louisa's Mentee has to say about her Mentor:

“Qed nieħu pjaċir niltaqa` ma Louisa għax ikolli ma’ min niftaħ qalbi. Hi tħobb li noħorġu postijiet li nixtieq immur jien u nieħdu pjaċir nimxu u nmorru postijiet ġodda flimkien. Louisa għandha qalbha tajba ħafna, turuni li tħobbni u tibża’ għalija. Jien niftiehem ħafna magħha u hi tipprova tgħini kif tista’.”

Mark:

"I’ve always wanted to do voluntary work and, thanks to SJAF, I was given the opportunity to take up the role of a Volunteer Mentor. My Mentee is a young and very cheerful person who really wished to have a friend of his own in life. My Mentee and I try to meet a couple of times a month. We agree on activities to do together in advance. We go to the cinema, to exhibitions… Once we went to a musical; another time we spent a day in Gozo. Given that my Mentee loves to eat out, we often conclude our outing with a meal together. He absolutely loves this.

I always look forward to meeting him. Thanks to this mentoring relationship, I have a break from my daily routine to enjoy the time we spend together. I see my role of a Volunteer Mentor as quality time to provide my Mentee with the following supports:

•  Provide him support in order Understanding more about friendship and be more able to move forward in life;
•  Identify goals to strive towards;
•  Learn to make decisions;
•  Gain different perspectives of the world around us;
•  Contributing to his well-being.

Mentoring is a shared opportunity for learning and growth. Both of us learn. Both of us grow from the shared experience of friendship. This voluntary work has enabled me to: 

•  Have fun in a different, meaningful way;
•  Develop new skills;
•  Achieve personal growth and learn more about myself;
•  I feel that I am making a difference in someone else’s life; it is very rewarding;
•  I learn a lot from my Mentee and I appreciate the little things in life; others may find it difficult to imagine how much one can learn from being a Volunteer Mentor.


• From my experience of voluntary work so far, I can say that Mentoring is much more worth the time and effort than one can possibly imagine. Giving freely of one's time and talents for a good cause is a very special feeling."​

What the Mentee’s mother has to say about Mark:

"I feel that these outings between Mark and my son have been very beneficial to my 19-year-old son.  My son considers Mark to be his great friend and always looks forward to their meetings.  Both of them have done various different things together, including going to watch a musical, a couple of films, a model exhibition, etc. all of which my son enjoyed very much.  They have also been out for meals together with is my son’s hobby. So, obviously, he enjoyed that very much.
I very much appreciate the fact that Mark gives my son the choice of things to do which makes him feel important and grown-up.  I feel that this has been very beneficial to my son as is the fact that Mark helps him in counting out money when they are out (since this was a limitation of his).
 
I cannot thank you enough for this opportunity given to us and a massive thanks to Mark for his patience."

Sheila:

"I am very lucky mentoring a very young mother and her little one. From day one I took my role very seriously and I took a genuine interest in both mother and her child. We got to know each other very well and I feel I can talk with her about anything even though sometimes it falls on deaf ears! My role is to give guidance and, when I cannot visit, we connect through Facebook and chat. We enjoy doing things together, from putting clothes away to shopping, waiting for an electrician and dining out. Occasionally I help with learning support too! To me, being a mentor is no different to being a mum to someone whose mum was not present in her life. I worry when they get sick, I want to know how she’s doing with her efforts to move on in life and I would hate it if I get to know she’s not telling me the truth. I love my Mentee and her child. I am sure that I was chosen to be a Volunteer Mentor because of my willingness to give time and love. I do my best not to give advice but to suggest how things could be done differently. I show her directions and my only wish is for her to understand that her past is over, many people love and care for her and the baby and together we can look to a brighter future." 

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