Self-Help Tools
from our Emotional Freedom Service
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SJAF Home --- Emotional Freedom Service --- EFS Self-Help Materials
On this page:
How to Forgive - forgiveness and emotional freedom
- not forgiving can keep you stuck in misery or rage. English illustrated
The Love-Circulation Method
- work on yourself to release emotional distress (English & Malti)
Overcome Your Life-Traps
- these pattern of thinking, behaving, and feeling don't work for adults! English
Qari Biex Tgħin Lilek Innifsek
- meta jkaxkruk sentimenti tqal (Malti)
The Welcome Method
= a rapid and simple method to deal properly with a distressing emotion (English & Malti)
On Other EFS Pages:
--- AIMS of EFS & Comments form Service Users
--- ALIVE.NOW Page: Message and Practices for becoming more whole
--- EFS Self-Help Materials: Welcome Method & Inħeles Minn Ġewwa
--- De-STRESS and Relax to become more free
how to forgive - and free yourself
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Do you feel stuck, sad, or angry? Maybe not forgiving someone is the problem? When you don't forgive, you have a repeating voice inside you that's always angry and blaming. This voice stops you from being happy, and you may feel stuck in your misery or rage. You may be unable to feel normal and free. If this is you, you need to forgive the other person.
But forgiving isn't always easy. It is normal to be hurt and upset when somebody has betrayed you, or made you feel small, or abused you. And sometimes you may feel that the upset, your distress, prevents you from forgiving. The truth, however, is that forgiving will help to heal your emotional distress. You may think that your hurt is the responsibility of whoever abused or hurt you. That is just wrong thinking. Your hurt and your emotional distress are your responsibility. This does not mean your “fault”! It’s your job to notice it, and to heal it. It’s nobody else’s job. |
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overcome your life-traps
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A Life-Trap is a pattern of beliefs, feelings, and behaviour, especially about oneself and one's relationships - a pattern that does not work well for adults. It is usually learnt in childhood or adolescence and is the result of certain needs of the child not being met.
For more understanding of the main life-traps, and yours in particular, and how to recover from them, get the book by Young and Klosko “Reinventing Your Life”, which is available from www.amazon.com as paperback or (or as Amazon Kindle eBook for less than Eur10). Normally the recovery work is done with the help of a schema therapist (life-trap therapist). Some other therapist who does cognitive and behavioural therapy (CBT) may be able to help. In the absence of such a person in your case, you can still overcome your life-traps, with perseverance. Some CBT apps such as MoodGym may help. The work involves questioning your life-trap related beliefs, observing and revising your behaviour, and managing your feelings, some of which are related to your life-traps. This book can be used as a work-book for this work, once you know which are your specific life-traps and their relative strength. To see which Life-Traps you have, and which are the strongest for you, get the book mentioned above, or contact the Emotional Freedom Service www.antidemalta.org for a free, confidential assessment, with or without an online meeting. |
(above) download free ebook: English
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the love-circulation method
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WORK ON YOURSELF TO RELEASE EMOTIONAL DISTRESS
Releasing Emotional Distress - Love Circulation Method—Version 6 date: 5-Mar-2022—Emotional Freedom Service efs@antidemalta.org of St Jeanne Antide Foundation, Malta www.antidemalta.org — contact Tony el. (+356) 7932 6725 during office hours for one-to-one sessions confidential & free of charge, normally online. Usually, 2-4 sessions of 2 hours each are needed. Email for a free audio MP3 in either English or Maltese to guide you along this process. Do not use this service if you have mental illness. You cannot apply on behalf of somebody else. Do not pressure anybody else to apply, as this will prevent thesemethods from working.
Download this method as a PDF document in English
Niżżel dan il-metodu bżala dokument PDF bil-Malti
If you want to read the article online, see below, after the Summary: Click on the "+" near "ENGLISH".
Jekk trid taqra l-artiklu online, ara hawn taħt, wara il-punti fil-Qosor: Ikklikkja fuq il-"+" ħdejn "MALTI"
Download this method as a PDF document in English
Niżżel dan il-metodu bżala dokument PDF bil-Malti
If you want to read the article online, see below, after the Summary: Click on the "+" near "ENGLISH".
Jekk trid taqra l-artiklu online, ara hawn taħt, wara il-punti fil-Qosor: Ikklikkja fuq il-"+" ħdejn "MALTI"
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ENGLISH - tHE lOVE cIRCULATION mETHOD (IN dETAIl)
Releasing Emotional Distress - Love Circulation Method—Version 6 date: 5-Mar-2022—Emotional Freedom Service efs@antidemalta.org of St Jeanne Antide Foundation, Malta www.antidemalta.org — contact Tony el. (+356) 79326725 for one-to-one sessions free of charge, online or face-to-face. Usually, 2-4 sessions of 2 hours each are needed. Email for a free audio MP3 in either English or Maltese to guide you along this process.
Here is the Love Circulation Method for facing and releasing emotional distress.
HOW TO HANDLE EMOTIONAL DISTRESS – SUMMARY of STEPS.
Love and mindful relaxation help to face and release emotional distress, making you more calm and free and happy. Here is how to do it. This is a very powerful process that can release years of suffering. Avoid all self-pity. Be alert to the fact that adversity may be teaching you a valuable lesson.
Caution: In the case of a strong past trauma, if you are likely to be re-traumatised by mentally visiting it, then do not do this therapy alone, or else in Step 3 just “touch it” very briefly every time and do several cycles of Steps 3-11 until the emotional intensity vanishes.) In the case of mental illness, get professional advice.
1. NOTICE EMOTIONAL DISTRESS.
2. CHOOSE A SPECIFIC OCCASION.
3. LIVE THAT OCCASION AGAIN FOR A FEW MOMENTS.
4. TAKE EMOTIONAL TEMPERATURE.
5. ACCEPT AND LOVE YOURSELF.
6. MINDFUL RELAXATION.
7. IĊĊIRKOLA L-IMĦABBA FIL-ĠISEM.
8. CIRCULATE LOVE INTO HEART, AND MIND.
9. STILL RELAXED, REST IN THE DIVINE PRESENCE.
10. COME TO THE PRESENT MOMENT.
11. REPEAT STEPS 3 – 10 UNTIL THE EMOTIONAL TEMPERATURE (See Step 4) DROPS.
12. REPEAT THIS WHOLE THERAPY ON ANOTHER DAY, FOCUSING ON THE SAME OCCASION (See Step 2) AS “TESTING”.
HOW TO HANDLE EMOTIONAL DISTRESS – DETAILED STEPS.
1. NOTICE EMOTIONAL DISTRESS. Don’t worry about the difference between sentiments, emotions and feelings. Here we just use the word “emotions”. (Maltese: emozzjoni jew sentiment). Notice something inside you that keeps carrying you away (Maltese: tkaxkrek) and interfering with your calm and joy. If you can give it a name, so much the better (for example, fear, insecurity, hurt, anger, feeling worthless, or maybe something inherited from childhood). If you know its details then use the detailed name of this emotional distress, for example: feeling worthless, or fear of failure, or fear of success, or fear of making mistakes, or fear of appearing stupid, or fear of getting reactions from others that confirm my suspicion that I may be worthless. Remember: we are concentrating on the actual feeling here, not on your mental commentary about that feeling, so please don’t encourage your mental commentator during this therapy.
2. CHOOSE A SPECIFIC OCCASION. Remember a particular day and time when something specific happened, something that caused or strongly triggers your emotional distress.
3. LIVE THAT OCCASION AGAIN FOR A FEW MOMENTS. Visualise what happened for a few moments only: in your mind and heart see what you saw, hear what you heard, etc.
4. TAKE EMOTIONAL TEMPERATURE. Right NOW check how much of the emotional distress you are feeling, between 0 (nothing) and 10 (extreme). Remember the number or write it down. Don’t consider what you might feel tomorrow, or some other time – just concentrate on the present moment.
5. ACCEPT AND LOVE YOURSELF. Say to yourself without condemnation or judgement: I accept myself; I love myself.
6. MINDFUL RELAXATION. Stretch (Maltese: tmattar) if any muscles are tense. With attention to delicate bodily sensations, relax your body.
7. CIRCULATE LOVE INTO BODY. Relax. Imagine breath going all through your body, rinsing it gently. Remember a moment of love; mix that love with the breath. If you believe in God or a Higher Power then remember that the foundation (Maltese: pedament) of your breath and of your love is the love that God has, divine love that sustains everything— so be OPEN and ACCEPTING of God’s love. If you don’t believe in God, try and maintain an open receptive attitude. Circulate breath, your love, and God’s love into all of your body. Accept the love, even your own love. Remember: love respects what it finds, and does not wrench stuff away, but releases what is ready to be released, and love is affectionate and sympathising. Do not use your will – avoid a strong effort of any kind in this method.
8. CIRCULATE LOVE INTO HEART, AND MIND. Now invite the Special Current (breath + your love + God’s love) into the heart, specifically into that emotion which you are working on (See Step 1). It may be useful for you to take an area of your heart (so to speak) draw a circle around it (so to speak) and label it with the name of the difficult emotion that you are working on; then guide the love-current into that circle or region of your emotions. After the first cycle (see Step 11) widen the circle to include also any “nearby” emotions. (If you are working on the inner child, also go deeper, into the emotions of the child that you were). Let the Love-Current diffuse, rinse, and inhabit (Maltese: jimla’, ilaħlaħ, jgħammar) in there. After a while, invite the Love-Current to go into the place of memories and opinions and recurring thoughts (the mind) to make it softer and more flexible. Do not use your will – avoid a strong effort of any kind in this method.
9. STILL RELAXED, REST IN THE DIVINE PRESENCE. Spend at least half a minute (preferably more) in the divine, holy, healing Presence of God. This is not the time for prayers with words, or any thoughts at all. When you notice a thought, surrender it (Maltese: ċedih) gently without fighting, without condemnations or judgements. Do this by simply returning your attention to the Holy Presence (or to the breath, for a breath or two or three).
10. COME TO THE PRESENT MOMENT. Come to the present moment by taking a mindful breath or two.
11. REPEAT STEPS 3 – 10 UNTIL THE EMOTIONAL TEMPERATURE (See Step 4) DROPS. Remember to use the same occasion in Step 2. Do not shift to some other occasion when you repeat Step 2.
12. REPEAT THIS WHOLE THERAPY ON ANOTHER DAY, FOCUSING ON THE SAME OCCASION (See Step 2) AS “TESTING”. This tests whether the results (that is, the release of difficult emotion) is becoming permanent. As you get confidence in using this therapy, you will want to use it for other types of emotional distress, if you have any. Do not combine different types of distress into one process: start afresh for each different type of distress. Consider keeping a journal or diary of your self-therapy and progress. –[]
Here is the Love Circulation Method for facing and releasing emotional distress.
HOW TO HANDLE EMOTIONAL DISTRESS – SUMMARY of STEPS.
Love and mindful relaxation help to face and release emotional distress, making you more calm and free and happy. Here is how to do it. This is a very powerful process that can release years of suffering. Avoid all self-pity. Be alert to the fact that adversity may be teaching you a valuable lesson.
Caution: In the case of a strong past trauma, if you are likely to be re-traumatised by mentally visiting it, then do not do this therapy alone, or else in Step 3 just “touch it” very briefly every time and do several cycles of Steps 3-11 until the emotional intensity vanishes.) In the case of mental illness, get professional advice.
1. NOTICE EMOTIONAL DISTRESS.
2. CHOOSE A SPECIFIC OCCASION.
3. LIVE THAT OCCASION AGAIN FOR A FEW MOMENTS.
4. TAKE EMOTIONAL TEMPERATURE.
5. ACCEPT AND LOVE YOURSELF.
6. MINDFUL RELAXATION.
7. IĊĊIRKOLA L-IMĦABBA FIL-ĠISEM.
8. CIRCULATE LOVE INTO HEART, AND MIND.
9. STILL RELAXED, REST IN THE DIVINE PRESENCE.
10. COME TO THE PRESENT MOMENT.
11. REPEAT STEPS 3 – 10 UNTIL THE EMOTIONAL TEMPERATURE (See Step 4) DROPS.
12. REPEAT THIS WHOLE THERAPY ON ANOTHER DAY, FOCUSING ON THE SAME OCCASION (See Step 2) AS “TESTING”.
HOW TO HANDLE EMOTIONAL DISTRESS – DETAILED STEPS.
1. NOTICE EMOTIONAL DISTRESS. Don’t worry about the difference between sentiments, emotions and feelings. Here we just use the word “emotions”. (Maltese: emozzjoni jew sentiment). Notice something inside you that keeps carrying you away (Maltese: tkaxkrek) and interfering with your calm and joy. If you can give it a name, so much the better (for example, fear, insecurity, hurt, anger, feeling worthless, or maybe something inherited from childhood). If you know its details then use the detailed name of this emotional distress, for example: feeling worthless, or fear of failure, or fear of success, or fear of making mistakes, or fear of appearing stupid, or fear of getting reactions from others that confirm my suspicion that I may be worthless. Remember: we are concentrating on the actual feeling here, not on your mental commentary about that feeling, so please don’t encourage your mental commentator during this therapy.
2. CHOOSE A SPECIFIC OCCASION. Remember a particular day and time when something specific happened, something that caused or strongly triggers your emotional distress.
3. LIVE THAT OCCASION AGAIN FOR A FEW MOMENTS. Visualise what happened for a few moments only: in your mind and heart see what you saw, hear what you heard, etc.
4. TAKE EMOTIONAL TEMPERATURE. Right NOW check how much of the emotional distress you are feeling, between 0 (nothing) and 10 (extreme). Remember the number or write it down. Don’t consider what you might feel tomorrow, or some other time – just concentrate on the present moment.
5. ACCEPT AND LOVE YOURSELF. Say to yourself without condemnation or judgement: I accept myself; I love myself.
6. MINDFUL RELAXATION. Stretch (Maltese: tmattar) if any muscles are tense. With attention to delicate bodily sensations, relax your body.
7. CIRCULATE LOVE INTO BODY. Relax. Imagine breath going all through your body, rinsing it gently. Remember a moment of love; mix that love with the breath. If you believe in God or a Higher Power then remember that the foundation (Maltese: pedament) of your breath and of your love is the love that God has, divine love that sustains everything— so be OPEN and ACCEPTING of God’s love. If you don’t believe in God, try and maintain an open receptive attitude. Circulate breath, your love, and God’s love into all of your body. Accept the love, even your own love. Remember: love respects what it finds, and does not wrench stuff away, but releases what is ready to be released, and love is affectionate and sympathising. Do not use your will – avoid a strong effort of any kind in this method.
8. CIRCULATE LOVE INTO HEART, AND MIND. Now invite the Special Current (breath + your love + God’s love) into the heart, specifically into that emotion which you are working on (See Step 1). It may be useful for you to take an area of your heart (so to speak) draw a circle around it (so to speak) and label it with the name of the difficult emotion that you are working on; then guide the love-current into that circle or region of your emotions. After the first cycle (see Step 11) widen the circle to include also any “nearby” emotions. (If you are working on the inner child, also go deeper, into the emotions of the child that you were). Let the Love-Current diffuse, rinse, and inhabit (Maltese: jimla’, ilaħlaħ, jgħammar) in there. After a while, invite the Love-Current to go into the place of memories and opinions and recurring thoughts (the mind) to make it softer and more flexible. Do not use your will – avoid a strong effort of any kind in this method.
9. STILL RELAXED, REST IN THE DIVINE PRESENCE. Spend at least half a minute (preferably more) in the divine, holy, healing Presence of God. This is not the time for prayers with words, or any thoughts at all. When you notice a thought, surrender it (Maltese: ċedih) gently without fighting, without condemnations or judgements. Do this by simply returning your attention to the Holy Presence (or to the breath, for a breath or two or three).
10. COME TO THE PRESENT MOMENT. Come to the present moment by taking a mindful breath or two.
11. REPEAT STEPS 3 – 10 UNTIL THE EMOTIONAL TEMPERATURE (See Step 4) DROPS. Remember to use the same occasion in Step 2. Do not shift to some other occasion when you repeat Step 2.
12. REPEAT THIS WHOLE THERAPY ON ANOTHER DAY, FOCUSING ON THE SAME OCCASION (See Step 2) AS “TESTING”. This tests whether the results (that is, the release of difficult emotion) is becoming permanent. As you get confidence in using this therapy, you will want to use it for other types of emotional distress, if you have any. Do not combine different types of distress into one process: start afresh for each different type of distress. Consider keeping a journal or diary of your self-therapy and progress. –[]
malti - iL-mETODU TAĊ-cIRKOLAZZJONI TAL-imĦABBA (fID-dEttall)
Hawn hu l-Metodu taċ-Ċirkolazzjoni tal-Imħabba biex tiffaċċja xi sentimenti diffiċli u tinħeles minnhom.
KIF TITTRATTA TAQLIB EMOZZJONALI - IL-PASSI FIL-QOSOR
L-imħabba u r-rilassament konxju-atent jgħinu biex tiffaċċja u tirrilaxxa t-tbatija emozzjonali, u jagħmluk aktar kalma u libera u ferħana. Hawnhekk ser tara kif tagħmel dan. Dan huwa proċess qawwi ħafna li jista’ jeħilsek minn snin sħaħ ta’ tbatija. Dejjem evita li titħassar lilek innifsek. Aċċetta li il-kuntlarjetà tista’ tkun qed tgħallmek xi lezzjoni mportanti.
Attenzjoni: Fil-każ ta’ trawma qawwijja tal-passat, jekk x’aktarx li terġa’ tiġi trawmatizzat billi żżurha mentalment, allura tagħmilx din it-terapija waħdek, jew inkella fil-Pass 3 sempliċement “missha” fil-qosor ħafna kull darba u diversi ċikli ta’ Passi 3-11 sakemm l-intensità emozzjonali tisparixxi.) Fil-każ ta 'mard mentali, ħu parir professjonali.
1. INDUNA BIT-TAQLIB EMOZZJONALI.
2. AGĦŻEL OKKAŻJONI SPEĊIFIKA.
3. ERĠA GĦIXHA DIK L-OKKAŻJONI, GĦAL FTIT MUMENTI.
4. ĦU TEMPERATURA EMOZZJONALI TIEGĦEK.
5. AĊĊETTA U ĦOBB LILEK INNIFSEK.
6. RILAXXAMENT KONXJU-ATTENT.
7. IĊĊIRKOLA L-IMĦABBA FIL-ĠISEM.
8. IĊĊIRKOLA L-IMĦABBA FIL-QALB, U MBAGĦAD FIL-MOĦĦ.
9. IBQA’ IRRILASSATA, U STRIEĦ FIL-PREŻENZA T’ALLA.
10. ERĠA’ LURA GĦALL-MUMENT TA’ ISSA
11. IRREPETI IL-PASSI 3 – 10 SAKEMM TONQOSLOK IT-TEMPERATURA EMOZZJONALI (Ara l-Pass 4).
12. IRREPETI DIN IT- TERAPIJA KOLLHA F’JUM IEĦOR, IFFOKA FUQ L-ISTESS OKKAŻJONI (Ara l-Pass 2) BĦALA “ITTESTJAR” (testing).
HOW TO HANDLE EMOTIONAL DISTRESS – DETAILED STEPS.
1. INDUNA BIT-TAQLIB EMOZZJONALI. Tinkwetax dwar jekk hemmx d-differenza bejn l-emozzjonijiet u s-sentimenti. Hawnhekk nużaw iż-zewġ kelmiet, emozzjoni u sentiment. Induna b’xi ħaġa ġewwa fik li tibqa’ tkaxkrek u tfixkillek il-kalma u l-ferħ. “Induna” tfisser ħossha, poġġi l-attenzjoni fuqha (u mhux aħseb dwarha) Jekk tista’ tagħtiha isem, tant aħjar (per eżempju, biża’, nuqqas ta’ sigurtà, weġgħa, rabja, tħossok ma tiswiex, jew forsi xi ħaġa li ntirtet mit-tfulija li għada ttaqqlek). Jekk taf id-dettalji tagħha allura uża’ l-isem dettaljat ta’ dan it-tbatija emozzjonali, pereżempju: nħossni minix kapaċi, jew biża’ ta’ falliment, jew biża’ ta’ suċċess, jew biża’ li nagħmel żbalji, jew biża’ li nidher stupida, jew biża’ li jkun hemm reazzjonijiet mingħand ħaddieħor li jikkonfermaw is-suspett tiegħi li forsi jien tassew ma niswa xejn. Ftakar: aħna hawn qed nikkonċentraw fuq xi sentiment diffiċli li tħoss qalbek, u mhux fuq il-ħsieb jew kummentarju mentali tiegħek dwar dak is-sentiment, għalhekk jekk jogħġbok tinkoraġġix lill-kummentatur mentali tiegħek waqt din it-terapija.
2. AGĦŻEL OKKAŻJONI SPEĊIFIKA. Ftakar f'jum u ħin partikolari meta ġrat xi ħaġa partikolari, xi ħaġa li kkawżat jew kabbret it-tbatija emozzjonali tiegħek, u forsi tqanqlek kull meta taħseb fiha.
3. ERĠA GĦIXHA DIK L-OKKAŻJONI, GĦAL FTIT MUMENTI. Ġib quddiem għajnejk dak li ġara għal ftit mumenti biss: f’moħħok u f’qalbek ara dak li rajt, isma’ dak li smajt, eċċ.
4. ĦU TEMPERATURA EMOZZJONALI TIEGĦEK. Proprju ISSA iċċekkja kemm qed tħoss bil-qawwa l-inkwiet emozzjonali, bejn 0 (xejn) u 10 (estrem, jew qawwi ħafna ħafna). Ftakar dan in-numru, jew iktbu. Tikkunsidrax dak li forsi tista’ tħoss għada, jew xi ħin ieħor - ikkonċentra biss fuq x’qed jinħass fil-mument preżenti: issa stess.
5. AĊĊETTA U ĦOBB LILEK INNIFSEK. Għid lilek innifsek bla ebda kundanna jew kritika: Naċċetta lili nnifsi; Inħobb lili nnifsi.
6. RILAXXAMENT KONXJU-ATTENT. Tmattar jekk tinduna b’xi muskoli li huma miġbudin bit-tensjoni. B'attenzjoni għas-sensazzjonijiet delikati tal-ġisem, irrilassa ġismek.
7. IĊĊIRKOLA L-IMĦABBA FIL-ĠISEM. Irrilassa. Immaġina nifs dieħel go ġismek kollu, ilaħlaħ b’mod ġetili, u jerġa’ joħroġ. Ftakar f’mument ta’ mħabba; ħallat dik l-imħabba man-nifs. Jekk temmen f’Alla ftakar li l-pedament tan-nifs tiegħek u tal-imħabba tiegħek huwa l-imħabba li Alla għandu, imħabba divina li ssostni kollox. Mela INFETAĦ għall-imħabba ta’ Alla. Jekk ma temminx f’Alla, ipprova żomm attitudni riċettiva miftuħa. Iċċirkola n-nifs, l-imħabba tiegħek, u l-imħabba ta' Alla fil-ġisem kollu tiegħek. Aċċetta l-imħabba, anke l-imħabba tiegħek stess. Ftakar: l-imħabba tirrispetta dak li ssib, u ma tqattċat xejn, imma tirrilaxxa dak li hu lest biex jiġi rilaxxat, u l-imħabba fiha simpatija u ħlewwa. Tużax rieda qawwija tiegħek - f'dan il-metodu evita kull tip ta’ sforz qawwi.
8. IĊĊIRKOLA L-IMĦABBA FIL-QALB, U MBAGĦAD FIL-MOĦĦ. Issa stieden lil dan il-Kurrent Speċjali (nifs + mħabba tiegħek + mħabba t’Alla) biex jidħol fil-qalb, li qed jimla bħal żona fil-qalb bit-tabella ta’ dik l-emozzjoni li qed taħdem fuqha (Ara l-1 Pass). Fi kliem ieħor, ħu żona ta’ qalbek (biex ngħidu hekk) fassal ċirku madwarha (biex ngħidu hekk) u tiegħa tabella bl-isem tal-emozzjoni diffiċli li tkun qed taħdem fuqha, forsi “rabja” jew “sens ta’ tradiment”. Wara l-ewwel ċiklu (ara l-Pass 11) wessa' ċ-ċirku biex jinkludi wkoll kwalunkwe emozzjoni "fil-qrib". (Jekk qed taħdem fuq it-tifla ġewwienija, mur ukoll aktar fil-fond, fl-emozzjonijiet tat-tifla li kont). Ħalli dan il-Kurrent ta’ Mħabba jimla, ilaħlaħ, u jgħammar hemmhekk. Wara ftit, stieden lill-Kurrent ta’ Mħabba biex imur fil-moħħ, minflok fil-qalb. Il-moħħ huwa l-post tal-memorji, opinjonijiet u ħsibijiet rikorrenti. L-iskop issa huqa li dan il-moħħ isir aktar artab u aktar flessibbli. Tużax rieda qawwija tiegħek - f'dan il-metodu evita kull tip ta’ sforz qawwi.
9. IBQA’ IRRILASSATA, U STRIEĦ FIL-PREŻENZA T’ALLA. Qatta' mill-inqas nofs minuta (preferibbilment aktar) fil-Preżenza ta' Alla, Preħenza mimlija qdusija u fejqan. Dan mhux ħin għal għal talb bil-kliem, jew għal xi ħsibijiet. Meta tinnota ħsieb, ċedih bil-mod, bla ġlied, bla kundanni, tiġġudikax lilek innifsek jew lil ħaddiehor bħalissa. Agħmel dan billi sempliċement terġa’ tpoġġi l-attenzjoni tiegħek fuq il-Preżenza Mqaddsa (jew inkella fuq in-nifs, għal nifs jew tnejn jew tlieta).
10. ERĠA’ LURA GĦALL-MUMENT TA’ ISSA. Ejja għall-mument preżenti billi tieħu nifs jew tnejn b’mod konxju-attent.
11. IRREPETI IL-PASSI 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 SAKEMM TONQOSLOK IT-TEMPERATURA EMOZZJONALI (Ara l-Pass 4.) Ftakar li għandek tuża l-istess okkażjoni fil-Pass 2, mhux taqleb għal xi okkażjoni oħra meta tirrepeti l-Pass 2.
12. IRREPETI DIN IT-TERAPIJA KOLLHA F’JUM IEĦOR, IFFOKA FUQ L-ISTESS OKKAŻJONI (Ara l-Pass 2) BĦALA “ITTESTJAR” (testing). Dan jittestja jekk ir-riżultati (jiġifieri, ir-rilaxx ta' xi emozzjoni diffiċli) huwix qed isir permanenti. Hekk kif inti trabbi fiduċja fl-użu ta 'din it-terapija, tkun kuntenta li tużaha għal tipi oħra ta' tbatija emozzjonali li forsi jista’ jkollok. Forsi aħjar li ma tgħaqqadx tipi differenti ta’ dwejjaq fi proċess wieħed: ibda mill-ġdid għal kull tip differenti ta’ dwejjaq jew taqlib emozzjonali. Forsi jkun tajjeb li żżomm ġurnal jew djarju dwar it-terapija li tkun qed tagħmel fuqek innifsek u dwar kif tkun sejra fih. –[]
KIF TITTRATTA TAQLIB EMOZZJONALI - IL-PASSI FIL-QOSOR
L-imħabba u r-rilassament konxju-atent jgħinu biex tiffaċċja u tirrilaxxa t-tbatija emozzjonali, u jagħmluk aktar kalma u libera u ferħana. Hawnhekk ser tara kif tagħmel dan. Dan huwa proċess qawwi ħafna li jista’ jeħilsek minn snin sħaħ ta’ tbatija. Dejjem evita li titħassar lilek innifsek. Aċċetta li il-kuntlarjetà tista’ tkun qed tgħallmek xi lezzjoni mportanti.
Attenzjoni: Fil-każ ta’ trawma qawwijja tal-passat, jekk x’aktarx li terġa’ tiġi trawmatizzat billi żżurha mentalment, allura tagħmilx din it-terapija waħdek, jew inkella fil-Pass 3 sempliċement “missha” fil-qosor ħafna kull darba u diversi ċikli ta’ Passi 3-11 sakemm l-intensità emozzjonali tisparixxi.) Fil-każ ta 'mard mentali, ħu parir professjonali.
1. INDUNA BIT-TAQLIB EMOZZJONALI.
2. AGĦŻEL OKKAŻJONI SPEĊIFIKA.
3. ERĠA GĦIXHA DIK L-OKKAŻJONI, GĦAL FTIT MUMENTI.
4. ĦU TEMPERATURA EMOZZJONALI TIEGĦEK.
5. AĊĊETTA U ĦOBB LILEK INNIFSEK.
6. RILAXXAMENT KONXJU-ATTENT.
7. IĊĊIRKOLA L-IMĦABBA FIL-ĠISEM.
8. IĊĊIRKOLA L-IMĦABBA FIL-QALB, U MBAGĦAD FIL-MOĦĦ.
9. IBQA’ IRRILASSATA, U STRIEĦ FIL-PREŻENZA T’ALLA.
10. ERĠA’ LURA GĦALL-MUMENT TA’ ISSA
11. IRREPETI IL-PASSI 3 – 10 SAKEMM TONQOSLOK IT-TEMPERATURA EMOZZJONALI (Ara l-Pass 4).
12. IRREPETI DIN IT- TERAPIJA KOLLHA F’JUM IEĦOR, IFFOKA FUQ L-ISTESS OKKAŻJONI (Ara l-Pass 2) BĦALA “ITTESTJAR” (testing).
HOW TO HANDLE EMOTIONAL DISTRESS – DETAILED STEPS.
1. INDUNA BIT-TAQLIB EMOZZJONALI. Tinkwetax dwar jekk hemmx d-differenza bejn l-emozzjonijiet u s-sentimenti. Hawnhekk nużaw iż-zewġ kelmiet, emozzjoni u sentiment. Induna b’xi ħaġa ġewwa fik li tibqa’ tkaxkrek u tfixkillek il-kalma u l-ferħ. “Induna” tfisser ħossha, poġġi l-attenzjoni fuqha (u mhux aħseb dwarha) Jekk tista’ tagħtiha isem, tant aħjar (per eżempju, biża’, nuqqas ta’ sigurtà, weġgħa, rabja, tħossok ma tiswiex, jew forsi xi ħaġa li ntirtet mit-tfulija li għada ttaqqlek). Jekk taf id-dettalji tagħha allura uża’ l-isem dettaljat ta’ dan it-tbatija emozzjonali, pereżempju: nħossni minix kapaċi, jew biża’ ta’ falliment, jew biża’ ta’ suċċess, jew biża’ li nagħmel żbalji, jew biża’ li nidher stupida, jew biża’ li jkun hemm reazzjonijiet mingħand ħaddieħor li jikkonfermaw is-suspett tiegħi li forsi jien tassew ma niswa xejn. Ftakar: aħna hawn qed nikkonċentraw fuq xi sentiment diffiċli li tħoss qalbek, u mhux fuq il-ħsieb jew kummentarju mentali tiegħek dwar dak is-sentiment, għalhekk jekk jogħġbok tinkoraġġix lill-kummentatur mentali tiegħek waqt din it-terapija.
2. AGĦŻEL OKKAŻJONI SPEĊIFIKA. Ftakar f'jum u ħin partikolari meta ġrat xi ħaġa partikolari, xi ħaġa li kkawżat jew kabbret it-tbatija emozzjonali tiegħek, u forsi tqanqlek kull meta taħseb fiha.
3. ERĠA GĦIXHA DIK L-OKKAŻJONI, GĦAL FTIT MUMENTI. Ġib quddiem għajnejk dak li ġara għal ftit mumenti biss: f’moħħok u f’qalbek ara dak li rajt, isma’ dak li smajt, eċċ.
4. ĦU TEMPERATURA EMOZZJONALI TIEGĦEK. Proprju ISSA iċċekkja kemm qed tħoss bil-qawwa l-inkwiet emozzjonali, bejn 0 (xejn) u 10 (estrem, jew qawwi ħafna ħafna). Ftakar dan in-numru, jew iktbu. Tikkunsidrax dak li forsi tista’ tħoss għada, jew xi ħin ieħor - ikkonċentra biss fuq x’qed jinħass fil-mument preżenti: issa stess.
5. AĊĊETTA U ĦOBB LILEK INNIFSEK. Għid lilek innifsek bla ebda kundanna jew kritika: Naċċetta lili nnifsi; Inħobb lili nnifsi.
6. RILAXXAMENT KONXJU-ATTENT. Tmattar jekk tinduna b’xi muskoli li huma miġbudin bit-tensjoni. B'attenzjoni għas-sensazzjonijiet delikati tal-ġisem, irrilassa ġismek.
7. IĊĊIRKOLA L-IMĦABBA FIL-ĠISEM. Irrilassa. Immaġina nifs dieħel go ġismek kollu, ilaħlaħ b’mod ġetili, u jerġa’ joħroġ. Ftakar f’mument ta’ mħabba; ħallat dik l-imħabba man-nifs. Jekk temmen f’Alla ftakar li l-pedament tan-nifs tiegħek u tal-imħabba tiegħek huwa l-imħabba li Alla għandu, imħabba divina li ssostni kollox. Mela INFETAĦ għall-imħabba ta’ Alla. Jekk ma temminx f’Alla, ipprova żomm attitudni riċettiva miftuħa. Iċċirkola n-nifs, l-imħabba tiegħek, u l-imħabba ta' Alla fil-ġisem kollu tiegħek. Aċċetta l-imħabba, anke l-imħabba tiegħek stess. Ftakar: l-imħabba tirrispetta dak li ssib, u ma tqattċat xejn, imma tirrilaxxa dak li hu lest biex jiġi rilaxxat, u l-imħabba fiha simpatija u ħlewwa. Tużax rieda qawwija tiegħek - f'dan il-metodu evita kull tip ta’ sforz qawwi.
8. IĊĊIRKOLA L-IMĦABBA FIL-QALB, U MBAGĦAD FIL-MOĦĦ. Issa stieden lil dan il-Kurrent Speċjali (nifs + mħabba tiegħek + mħabba t’Alla) biex jidħol fil-qalb, li qed jimla bħal żona fil-qalb bit-tabella ta’ dik l-emozzjoni li qed taħdem fuqha (Ara l-1 Pass). Fi kliem ieħor, ħu żona ta’ qalbek (biex ngħidu hekk) fassal ċirku madwarha (biex ngħidu hekk) u tiegħa tabella bl-isem tal-emozzjoni diffiċli li tkun qed taħdem fuqha, forsi “rabja” jew “sens ta’ tradiment”. Wara l-ewwel ċiklu (ara l-Pass 11) wessa' ċ-ċirku biex jinkludi wkoll kwalunkwe emozzjoni "fil-qrib". (Jekk qed taħdem fuq it-tifla ġewwienija, mur ukoll aktar fil-fond, fl-emozzjonijiet tat-tifla li kont). Ħalli dan il-Kurrent ta’ Mħabba jimla, ilaħlaħ, u jgħammar hemmhekk. Wara ftit, stieden lill-Kurrent ta’ Mħabba biex imur fil-moħħ, minflok fil-qalb. Il-moħħ huwa l-post tal-memorji, opinjonijiet u ħsibijiet rikorrenti. L-iskop issa huqa li dan il-moħħ isir aktar artab u aktar flessibbli. Tużax rieda qawwija tiegħek - f'dan il-metodu evita kull tip ta’ sforz qawwi.
9. IBQA’ IRRILASSATA, U STRIEĦ FIL-PREŻENZA T’ALLA. Qatta' mill-inqas nofs minuta (preferibbilment aktar) fil-Preżenza ta' Alla, Preħenza mimlija qdusija u fejqan. Dan mhux ħin għal għal talb bil-kliem, jew għal xi ħsibijiet. Meta tinnota ħsieb, ċedih bil-mod, bla ġlied, bla kundanni, tiġġudikax lilek innifsek jew lil ħaddiehor bħalissa. Agħmel dan billi sempliċement terġa’ tpoġġi l-attenzjoni tiegħek fuq il-Preżenza Mqaddsa (jew inkella fuq in-nifs, għal nifs jew tnejn jew tlieta).
10. ERĠA’ LURA GĦALL-MUMENT TA’ ISSA. Ejja għall-mument preżenti billi tieħu nifs jew tnejn b’mod konxju-attent.
11. IRREPETI IL-PASSI 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 SAKEMM TONQOSLOK IT-TEMPERATURA EMOZZJONALI (Ara l-Pass 4.) Ftakar li għandek tuża l-istess okkażjoni fil-Pass 2, mhux taqleb għal xi okkażjoni oħra meta tirrepeti l-Pass 2.
12. IRREPETI DIN IT-TERAPIJA KOLLHA F’JUM IEĦOR, IFFOKA FUQ L-ISTESS OKKAŻJONI (Ara l-Pass 2) BĦALA “ITTESTJAR” (testing). Dan jittestja jekk ir-riżultati (jiġifieri, ir-rilaxx ta' xi emozzjoni diffiċli) huwix qed isir permanenti. Hekk kif inti trabbi fiduċja fl-użu ta 'din it-terapija, tkun kuntenta li tużaha għal tipi oħra ta' tbatija emozzjonali li forsi jista’ jkollok. Forsi aħjar li ma tgħaqqadx tipi differenti ta’ dwejjaq fi proċess wieħed: ibda mill-ġdid għal kull tip differenti ta’ dwejjaq jew taqlib emozzjonali. Forsi jkun tajjeb li żżomm ġurnal jew djarju dwar it-terapija li tkun qed tagħmel fuqek innifsek u dwar kif tkun sejra fih. –[]
title 2
qari biex tgħin lilek innifsek
meta jkaxkruk sentimenti tqal
Inħeles Minn Ġewwa 1-33
Artikli biex tgħin lilek innifsek meta jkaxkruk sentimenti tqal
Artikli biex tgħin lilek innifsek meta jkaxkruk sentimenti tqal
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Artikli Qosra Fi Ktieb:
Ġabra ta' artikli qosra bil-Malti biex tgħin lilek innifsek meta tkun imkaxkar jew imqalleb minn sentimenti bħal rabja, biża', inkwiet, meta żżomm f'qalbek, meta għamlulek azzjoni ħażina u tħoss weġgħa, meta tħoss li ma tistax taħfer, jew meta jkollok kwalunkwe tbatija. Ikklikkja fuq l-istampa tal-kotba biex tniżżel il-ktieb bl-artikli. Dan huwa eBook PDF ta' 3 MB, ta' aktar minn 95 paġna, bl-istampi bil-kulur, bla ħlas. Fiħ biss l-Artikli 1 - 28 . Jew ikklikkja hawn taħt, fuq kull titlu, jekk trid tniżżel xi artikli wieħed wieħed (PDF, xi 3 paġni kull wieħed). Bħalissa hemm Artikli 1 - 33. Importanti - Fuq computer jew mobajl, wara li tikklikkja - il-fajl imur fid-Downloads folder. Artikli Qosra Wieħed Wieħed: Ikklikkja fuq is-sinjal "+" hawn taħt biex tara il-lista ta' artikli u tniżżel dawk li trid. |
Ikklikkja fuq l-istampa
biex tniżżel il-KTIEB |
ARTIKLI WIEĦED WIEĦED
Sensiela: Inħeles Minn Ġewwa (Click here)
Sensiela: Inħeles Minn Ġewwa (Click here)
01 – It-Tifel Ġewwieni Tiegħi, Xi Jrid Jismagħni Ngħidlu?
02 – Kif Nista’ Naħfer Lili Nnifsi?
03 – Kif Nista’ Naħfer Lill-Ġenituri?
04 – Ir-Rabja u l-Belveder
05 – Biex ma Nitkaxkarx – Il-Metodu tal-Merħba
06 – Kontra l-Ansjetá – Il-Metodu tal-Kummentarju
07 – Kontra l-Ansjetá – Kun Konxju-Attent
08 – Erġajt Waqajt! – Meta tirkadi, x’tagħmel?
09 – Inżomm f’Qalbi – L-Ewwel Parti
10 – Inżomm f’Qalbi – It-Tieni Parti
11 – It-Tbatija Tiegħek – Daħla
12 – Tbatija – Id-Dwejjaq Huma Għodda
13 – Tbatija – X’hawn, Iss’issa?
14 – Tbatija – Tad-Daħq?
15 – Tbatija – Rawwem Imħabba u Ġentilezza
16 – Nista’ Ngħix fil-Mogħdrija?
17 – Dejjem Jiena l-Vittma!
18 – Inpattihielu!
19 - Sitt Passi Biex Issolvi Problema
20 - Nista' Nagħder Lili Nnifsi?
21 - Il-Gratitudni Tferraħ
22 - Nista' Ngħix fil-Ferħ?
23 - Inħobbu, Imma...
24 - Ixrob Tbatija, Ibgħat Sliem
25 - Marta, l-Inkwiet u l-Merħba
26 - Jikkritikani Minn Ġewwa
27 - Kien hemm Negliġenza Emozzjonali fi Tfulitek?
28 - Nisrani Jista Jħobb Lilu Nnifsu? (Malti + English)
29 – M'Għallmunix Intelliġenza Emozzjonali
30 – Dell Ġewwieni u Sħuħija Moħbija
30 - Inner Shadow & Hidden Wholeness
31 – Fieq u Fejjaq ma’ Alla billi tinfetaħ għall-Preżenza Fejjieqa
32 – Irrilassa!
33 – Għix il-Mument!
02 – Kif Nista’ Naħfer Lili Nnifsi?
03 – Kif Nista’ Naħfer Lill-Ġenituri?
04 – Ir-Rabja u l-Belveder
05 – Biex ma Nitkaxkarx – Il-Metodu tal-Merħba
06 – Kontra l-Ansjetá – Il-Metodu tal-Kummentarju
07 – Kontra l-Ansjetá – Kun Konxju-Attent
08 – Erġajt Waqajt! – Meta tirkadi, x’tagħmel?
09 – Inżomm f’Qalbi – L-Ewwel Parti
10 – Inżomm f’Qalbi – It-Tieni Parti
11 – It-Tbatija Tiegħek – Daħla
12 – Tbatija – Id-Dwejjaq Huma Għodda
13 – Tbatija – X’hawn, Iss’issa?
14 – Tbatija – Tad-Daħq?
15 – Tbatija – Rawwem Imħabba u Ġentilezza
16 – Nista’ Ngħix fil-Mogħdrija?
17 – Dejjem Jiena l-Vittma!
18 – Inpattihielu!
19 - Sitt Passi Biex Issolvi Problema
20 - Nista' Nagħder Lili Nnifsi?
21 - Il-Gratitudni Tferraħ
22 - Nista' Ngħix fil-Ferħ?
23 - Inħobbu, Imma...
24 - Ixrob Tbatija, Ibgħat Sliem
25 - Marta, l-Inkwiet u l-Merħba
26 - Jikkritikani Minn Ġewwa
27 - Kien hemm Negliġenza Emozzjonali fi Tfulitek?
28 - Nisrani Jista Jħobb Lilu Nnifsu? (Malti + English)
29 – M'Għallmunix Intelliġenza Emozzjonali
30 – Dell Ġewwieni u Sħuħija Moħbija
30 - Inner Shadow & Hidden Wholeness
31 – Fieq u Fejjaq ma’ Alla billi tinfetaħ għall-Preżenza Fejjieqa
32 – Irrilassa!
33 – Għix il-Mument!
the welcome method
a rapid and simple method to train yourself to deal properly
with all distressing emotions as soon as they come
THE WELCOME METHOD. Use this method regularly to avoid being carried away by difficult feelings: rage, fear, insults, traumas etc
Il-METODU TAL-MERĦBA. Uża' dan il-metodu regolarment sabiex ma titkaxkarx minn sentimenti koroh: korla, biża', insulti, trawmi, eċċ
Il-METODU TAL-MERĦBA. Uża' dan il-metodu regolarment sabiex ma titkaxkarx minn sentimenti koroh: korla, biża', insulti, trawmi, eċċ
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